i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
