This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
