Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
