i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
