You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
