First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
