OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
