What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
