Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Congratulations! We have a period
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