Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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