I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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