i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
