i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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