An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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