Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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