Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
