making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
