and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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