doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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