we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This house was built for laser tag.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
