It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
