i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
