some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
and you fell through a lawn chair
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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