If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
