the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
