so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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