i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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