why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This house was built for laser tag.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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