woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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