You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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