Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
