Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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