Can Purell be used as lube?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
