I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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