Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
