I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
