Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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