I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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