its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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