I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
