she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
that is very illegal...i love you.
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