There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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