about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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