How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
