Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
