Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
