where am i from again
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
