so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
