Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
