I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
