wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
