kristin has been a bad kristin
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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