Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
