I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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